Wednesday, January 14, 2015

On "Mommy Wars"

Have you seen the term "Mommy Wars" flying around on the internet lately?  Turns out stay-at-home moms are being nasty to working moms and vice versa. (Sigh….) After seeing this post, I thought I'd jump on the band wagon and share some quick thoughts on the matter.

I remember the exact moment when I let go of all parenting and family judgement.  It may not seem like a big deal or an "AHA" moment to you or anyone else, but it was a clearly defined moment for me.    I haven't lost that feeling of clarity yet, and I hope I never do.

A couple of years ago, we invited our neighbors over for a family-style brunch. These neighbors had a new baby about 2 months old.  They are a dual working family with their child in full-time day care.  The daddy had been grocery shopping that morning and brought cinnamon rolls to share at brunch. Homemade delicious cinnamon rolls.  As in, HE made them.  The mama came over a few minutes later wearing her precious babe in a carrier.

That was it. No sirens or whistles or bells. Just a realization:  That works for their family.

It works for the dad to grocery shop and bake, and for both parents to work and send their daughter to day care.  That works for them.

Maybe it was seeing a perceived "weakness" in my family.  I don't know. But I do know…

It wouldn't work for my family.  My husband despises grocery shopping.  After the birth of our oldest, I sent him to the grocery store with a clearly organized list.  He came home with half of the items about 2 hours later (I'm not joking) saying he was writing a letter to Giant Eagle.  That's just exhibit A.

BUT…and this is a big BUT….my husband is the handiest guy around.  He literally laid in bed and read "How to Plumb" when we bought our first house. And would you believe it?  The fella re-plumbed that entire house.

Anyway, you get where I'm going with this.  Everyone does what works for them.  Every parent is doing their best.  Whether it's going to work or staying at home, nursing or formula feeding.  We. Are. Trying.

What are your thoughts? Have you experienced any Mommy Wars recently?

No comments:

Post a Comment